3 things I'm saying NO to this NOvember
Can I let you in on a little flaw of mine?
I’m a YES person. I am a people pleaser. I want to make everyone happy. If you give me a project, I’ll get it done. If you want to go get happy hour, I’ll be there. If you ask me to be a part of a club, I’ll probably try to be on the board of it within the month.
Not seeing the flaw? For the longest time, I didn’t either. In high school I was class president, cheer captain, co-president of community service club, and a freshman mentor. I sang in chorus, danced in show choir, decorated for every dance, ran track (not well, I might add), and - saving the best for last - was a MATHlete. I think the only thing I wasn’t in was FFA - and I don’t even know anything about farming (or really have a desire to) but the thought that that I wasn’t involved in it about killed me. I was nonstop then and pretty much have been ever since.
I know you might be thinking - that’s just how high school is, you just do a bunch of crap to figure out what you like. But the thing is, I didn’t even have time to figure out what I liked! And it led me to develop this bad habit of just constantly saying yes to everything, which can lead to a lot of unfair outcomes to the people I care about.
I've let people down, I've overbooked myself, I haven't given it my all - way too many times to count - all because I said Yes to way too many things.
I was on one of my (very long) road trips the other day, when I called one of my really good friends to catch up. We were just talking about life and everything going on and how we are just always running around like crazy women! You know, that #hustle mindset, I guess. Through all this talk, I think we both just realized it’s really time to start saying NO to more things so we can say YES to the things and people we love! Then she goes “let’s just make NOvember about saying NO” - and I was like you’re a freaking genius, let’s do it!
So here we are! 3 things I’m saying NO to this November:
1. Saying no to projects that don’t excite me.
Sure, I know not all work can be the most exciting thing ever. But this isn’t even just about me - it’s about you, the client. In the past I’ve been asked to paint things that weren’t my style, didn’t match my brand, and I just simply wasn’t the right fit for the project. Of course I said yes because I didn’t have the heart to say no. And these projects have usually ended up just not being great. They've turned out not what the client envisioned, which is not fair to them - nobody wins when this happens! My hope is that if someone wants me to do a painting, it’s because they like my style and they chose me because of that. Go check out my painting style - it’s a little messy, it’s full of brushstrokes, it’s lively. I hope you like it and if not that’s totally fine - no hard feelings! I’m just not the girl for you, but I’d be happy to try to connect you with someone who is a better match!
2. Saying no to going out when I don’t feel like it.
Please note - I’m not saying no to going out. I’m saying no to going out when I don’t feel like it. Peer pressure usually wins in this scenario, but I’m really using NOvember to stay in when I feel like it and going out when I feel like it. I’ll let you know how it goes but I’m thinking life will in fact go on, even if I don’t make it out downtown every single weekend.
3. Saying no to boys.HA. This is something I get asked about all the time and it honestly kinda baffles me - “So, are you dating anyone?” “Do you want me to set you up on a date?” “Are you on bumble?” No, no, and no. Sure, the idea of getting dressed up and having a nice dinner with someone sounds great - but it just doesn’t make sense to me right now. I’m getting ready to move, I’m in my first few months of starting a business - why on earth would I want to introduce anyone into that at this time?? Like hello, yes, welcome to my crazy life - would you like to get emotionally involved right before I leave? I’m not saying never, I’m just saying NOOOOvember.
I suppose those are the 3 main things I’m saying No to this November! I think that by saying no to these I’ll get to say a lot more YES to:
Projects that fulfill me and my clients
Quality time with friends and family
Intentional plans and goals
And there we are, NOvember! What is something you are going to say no to this month? Let me know in the comments, or head back to my instagram and comment there!
Photos by the talented Collin Nixon | firstname.lastname@example.org
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